Sorry Seems To Be...

There's a song by Elton John called "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word".  Words by Bernie Taupin.  It's an amazing song that captures how hard it is to rectify a situation with someone and how hard it is to make them realize you're sorry.

Being sorry is incredibly difficult - being truly truly sorry.  Saying you're sorry isn't so hard.  Especially if you don't mean it.  In fact, in many kids, "Sorry" is almost reflexive.  They don't even think about it.  It just comes out.

But that's not being sorry.  There are two components to being truly sorry for hurting someone, either by accident or in a moment of temporary insanity.

1. The event caused you to change in some way.  The event being NOT the action itself, but the seeing the pain you caused someone else.  Feeling that pain.  Realizing that you were responsible for that.  And it doesn't have to be a big deal, even a minor one.  To be truly sorry, you have to realize that the hurt occurred, and you have to be a different person for it.  If not, then #2 can't happen.
2. By being changed, you now know yourself and your friend better.  This enables you to ensure the event doesn't repeat itself.  It's said that those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.  To me, it's more than memory - it's experience.  I'd say those who are not CHANGED by the past are condemned to repeat it.  If you recognize yourself as a new person who will no longer DO whatever it was you did, it's easier to make that a part of who you are, not just something you need to remember.

If those two points above are true, your friend will see it, you'll know it and you'll begin to live it.  And out of that, your friend will find it much easier to forgive as you will be much more capable of demonstrating how it won't happen again.

And when they do forgive, and when you're truly sorry, it'll seem like the event never happened before, and could never happen again.  How could it?  You were a different person then!