Holiday Thoughts

Well, here at the Sheridan household the dogs are chomping on their christmas bones, the girls are either dancing or watching TV, and Kyle is wrestling his little heart out with his new toys.  I've turned 42 (for those of you into Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that's the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything).

I'm not going to presume you all are Christmas fans, maybe some of you celebrate Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah, or maybe nothing at all.  But whatever your cause, this is truly a time of celebration and joy.

Why?  Because this is the time of year when the days get the shortest, the winter wipes clean the previous year, and we are all given a chance to start again.  We share with each other during this time of year as the cold weather huddles us closer together, and we give to help each other survive the snow or just to help us realize how much we have.

When we share we confirm to ourselves that we have enough TO share.  It makes us realize how great our lives are, and how much we have to give.  Sure, some feel they HAVE to share, even if they don't want to, and many people don't get the spirit of the season, but that's the diversity we've always talked about.  These are the differences that make us a perfectly completed whole.

So to all of my friends out there, I say have a great holiday season, filled with the recognition I've mentioned above, and the knowledge that you are all wonderful, perfect beings fulfilling the role of a unique and connected collective.  Let's make 2010 a year unlike any others we've experienced, and let's make it a wonderful change for the world.

Have a great one!

Kev

When Hopelessness Abounds...

'Tis the season - so why am I getting so much bad news?  Anyone else having this problem?  Maybe a grade slipping or a boyfriend or girlfriend fight?  Or maybe memories of some Christmas past is creeping up and forming the foundation for a ton of "I HATE CHRISTMAS" feelings.

Yeah, I know.  Take a look at what happened to me today.
1)  Daughter Hannah got accepted to Susquehannah University.  GREAT NEWS!  Right?  Except:
2)  I'm out of a job.  Was told today that the position I interviewed for is being outsourced to India.  Ray.  3)  So I've applied for another job.  Got this in the mail:
"We have reviewed your submission and have decided to continue our search for candidates whose skills and experience more closely match the position"


And that's for a job I was SURE was perfect for me.  No sweat - more time for me to write.  In fact, I sent out a query letter to an agent today - my best query letter yet!


4)  "Thank you for your query, but I don't think I would be the best match in this instance."


I have thus had THREE rejections in one day!  Thank God for Hannah's good news or I'd be 0 for 4!


So, what do I do?  Whistle a happy tune?  Hardly.  I was pretty peeved.  I got angry.  Depressed.  Ate some crap I shouldn't have.  Tried to enjoy a few holiday traditional movies, and then decided to write to you all. 


What I did was carry on.  I allowed the emotions to come out, I recognized them, and then moved past them.  The anger lasted for about a 1/2 hour.  The depression, probably a little more than a couple of hours.  May even have a little sitting around me.  But the writing - that's what's keeping me going.


What keeps you going?  Every piece of bad news is an event that you WILL move past.  It's inevitable.  But the more you try to suppress the natural reactions to bad news, bad memories, or bad feelings, the longer they stick around.  My friend Neale Donald Walsch has said that "What you resist, persists."  And it's true.  I can't make these people hire me.  I can't make this person be my agent.  I CAN however, be angry about the job, depressed about the prospects, but only for a little while.  Then it doesn't help me anymore.  I mean, really, clinging to anger isn't going to get me another job, right?


Writing, however, just might.  So that's what I'm doing.


Move forward.  And if you want, think about the fact that you're moving forward with friends.  Don't think you have any friends?  Think again.  You've got one in me.


Try me.

An Excerpt from "Dealing with Dudes and Chicks"

From the INTRO to "Dealing with Dudes and Chicks" by Kevin, Hannah and Cara Sheridan

     

           You.  Are.  Perfect. 

Perfect.

No, seriously!  You are.  You know that right?  No “original sin”, no “nasty” inherited traits, hell, even that “too big a nose to get a prom date” isn’t really big.  It’s perfect, because it’s yours.  Understand?  Good.  Glad we sorted that out.

            Wait!  Hang on a sec!  Why’re you cryin’ BULL?!?  Wait wait wait!  Don’t close the book!

            I know.  I get it.  I understand you’re not buyin’ what I’ve been selling.  Just wanted to try it out and see if it stuck.  If you believe the first paragraph with all your heart, if you know it to be true to the point where you can’t imagine it NOT being true, THEN you can close the book.  Put it away and save it for someone who needs it.  But chances are, you picked up this book, and started reading it, specifically because something is messed up about you.  Right?  At least in your mind?

            I know.  I get it.  I’ve been there. 

            Look, I’m not some psychiatrist with a PhD in Making Stuff Up.  I never majored in Child Psychology, which is probably a good thing because you’re not a child.  You’re a teenager, and there ain’t no more confusing, frustrating, weird-ass decade in the course of a human life.  I know cuz I’ve been there.  Yup, this creepy old guy was a teenager once.  I’m also a dad, which means I get to watch three other teens go through the same crap I did.  At some point, God willing, I may even be a Grandad.  Hell, who knows how many times I’ll get to live through this. 

            Now, if you’re like my kids, or you’ve read my bio, you’re probably thinking “Dude, you’re like, forty-one.  That’s really old!”  To which I would flex my shirt-bustin’ guns, tighten my six-pack abs, straighten up tall and say “Who you callin’ OLD!”  (I can get away with that cuz I’m the author.  Really I’d have to wear a tight t-shirt, suck in my muffin-top, try to flex my man boobs and straighten up after a quick visit to the chiropractor.  See what you have to look forward to?)  But I WAS a teenager once.  Every year from thirteen to nineteen in my life.  Teenager every one of them.

            So now you’re thinking, “Yeah, but that was like, in the eighties, right?  Did they even have computers then?  The internet?  Electricity?”  Well, yeah they did.  But I’m not gonna list the antiques that we had that you wouldn’t even recognize now (like the vinyl albums that my daughter wants to make into a serving bowl).  I know what you’re driving at – but yes, with the exception of the speed in which the world moves, the problems of being a teenager in the Facebook, Xbox, PS3, Blackberry digital age are EXACTLY the same as they were in the Atari, Intellivision, Music-still-on-MTV age, oh so long ago. 

            Why?  Because the nature of the human race hasn’t changed.  Sorry dudes and chicks, you may be moving at a million miles a second, but you are still walking, talking, organic masses of cells, tissues, muscle, blood and hormones.  Oh and at your age?  Heavy on the hormones.  I know you dudes are walkin’ around wonderin’ if you’ll ever get to really use that thing in your pants (or how quickly you WILL get to use it again), and I know you gals are wonderin’ if you’ll ever really find the perfect relationship.  Fact is the thoughts, emotions, experiences, and ultimately the reality of the modern American teenager are as distorted, imagined, whacked-out and generally difficult to understand as they ever have been or ever will be.  And just so you don’t feel bad, many an adult are still in the same boat.

            So I know you feel lonely, even if you’re not alone.  I know you’ve got questions that no one wants to answer, thoughts that no one wants to face, and a need to seriously figure out what the hell to do about a lot of things.  But chill, you’re not alone, there ARE answers, and your thoughts can be changed as easily as your underwear.  You can and WILL figure out what to do about everything, if you want to.  Or don’t.  Doesn’t matter to me.  But it will matter to you.

            You’re not alone, you’re not lost, and you’re not a waste of human life.  You’re on a path to somewhere, along with a ton of other people, and you’re exploring and creating your path as you go.  You’ve got incredible freedom to follow the path where it leads, or branch off into a new direction.  Folks will travel the path with you, some “cool” and some “not so cool”, whatever that may mean in your mind, and some of those folks will drift off while others come on.  So look around and shake the hands of the dudes and dudettes around you.  Cuz if you follow this path staring at your shoes, that’s all you’re ever gonna see.